SHADOW PLAY.

I don’t remember why I was at Sab’s house, was it a smoke sesh? Or that was impromptu?  She had her sister’s audio player, shaped like a little piggy. We were sitting on your front porch, tripped out on each other’s shadow and saw Dementors. At one point, she saw something in my shadow and I couldn’t see because it was to my back and if I move, the shape that I was making would be gone.

And then we kept listening to Kesha’s You’re Love is my Drug. HAHAHAHA. BECAUSE I WAS SUPERFICIALLY IN LOVE. HAHAHAHA.

What other shapes do you remember Sab? 

TWO GIRLS. ONE BUCKET.

Denice became a frequent visitor at my house because of the Bahay Kubo Hits.

We were really baked at 12am, telephoned KFC and ordered a bucket meal. We finished the entire bucket. Lines were passed on like “Man, that was a lot of chicken, just by saying chicken reverts me back to food coma.” Mikee (Denice) was so frustrated because her rice wasn't equal to the amount of chicken that she had. And for some reason Mikee says “CAPTAIN SANDERS” it took me a couple of seconds to realize what she was saying when it hit me… “IT’S COLONEL SANDERS DUDE!!!” I still have the video! Couldn't stop laughing at it as I watched it. Mr. Malcolm, my dog, made a Blue’s Clues on her, that’s why there’s a paw print there.

Those random Bahay Kubo Hits were always nice with you, we talked about everything under the sun and moon. Tripped out on Santa Bubble Machine and iTunes visuals. You're the best.

MIKEE. GO HERE NA. NOW NA. MISS NA MISS NA MISS NA MISS NA MISS NA KITA. IT HURTS.

HOR IN A TAPIS.

This was back in highschool. It was some camping thing at the school grounds. I made Hor report, and he comes out of the shower room in a towel. I saw Hor’s sexy body, the toon has the manyak face on.

Man, I remember Hor when he was still a little bunny. His brother was my batchmate and he was a batch lower, I think I was 5^th grade and he was in 4^th. He would hang in our classroom with his kuya and he was such a cute little pudgy boy listening to the grown-ups talk. HAHA.

Miss you Baby Corn. I believe in your music, I believe in you. More of the positive vibes you bring out to the human race, not just referring to your music, but I’m also pointing out your entire being. You are a person who sees the glass has something in it and at the same time is half-full. Your perseverance is astounding and look at how far you've come. At your age and at your success, you've defied the norms.

HOW DO YOU OPEN A BEER BOTTLE WITHOUT A BOTTLE OPENER?

I often found myself in Celine and K’s apartment. The apartment with crazy ass blue lights. I was there often because… we were practically neighbors. That apartment lacked a lot of kitchen utensils, because they don’t cook. DOMESTICATE YOURSELVES. So Celine and I bought a lot of beer, but we had no means of opening it because they didn't have a bottle opener. The Norwegians just used their lighters and cellphones to open bottles. It was just the two of us, and we were thirsty as fuck.

We tried everything but to no avail. Finally, I decided to text my guy (At that time, but fuck that, that guy is an asshole and will go to hell and be eaten piece by piece by the little mice of hell.) and asked him how to open a beer bottle without a bottle opener. I got a crash course through a text message with detailed instructions. It took me a couple of minutes to get it done but when I was able to open it. Celine and I cheered like as if we were watching a football game.

Celine said “Ang cool ng guy mo!” but that guy is history and can suck his own cock for all I care. Oh wait, HE’S GOT A WIFE TO SUCK IT NOW. Asshole. Okay. Sorry. Sometimes the bitterness spills over. He’s one of the reasons why I moved out of the Philippines. HAHAHAHAH. ULOL.

Anyway, I didn't really do it right, it’s more of like, I pried the bottle cap off. Until now, it’s still what I do, prying it off the top, but it gets open anyway, so it doesn't matter. I never got the hang of it. I’m always jealous whenever I hear someone open up a bottle with that “POP!”. Wish I could do that.

Honestly, I miss those nights at your apartment. It sucks that I never got to see the new apartment. Would have been dope if I cooked at least once in the new one. But the memories that were created in that apartment was priceless. Because you are priceless Celine. You’re a gem. One in a million.

SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS.

First time I hung out with Sab at a club.

I think she was the baby at Greyone back then and according to her, I asked her to go with us. And just like every night at Embassy, you walk out of there piss faced drunk. People tell me I fell off the couch, I disagree, the couch threw me off. Now, this girl right here, this girl is wild. When the DJ’s last song ended, the scene was like this: Bouncers assisting Sab out the club, us following, laughing our asses off, when we get out she screams “I WANT SEX!”  Done deal. Casual #3 was born. Our friendship begins.

The funny thing is, most of my friends, we meet at the most unusual circumstances, but it’s these experiences that strengthens the bond between two friends. Too see someone at their worst and be able to accept what you see is the start of a long lasting friendship. FRIENDSHIP LEVEL-UP.

It was then that I knew, sober or not, that I was gonna get along with Sab. We’re complete opposites and yet we like each other. A lot of people don’t like my guts. Heck, I think everyone hates my guts, and you know what? I never gave a flying fuck about what you people thought. There was a dark time when all of you were giving Sab shit for being friends with me. But Sab stood by me and defended me despite the bullshit that she was receiving from your nosy asses. Sab knows me better than any of you do, I’m not one to broadcast the small amount of good in me, because people fuck with you when you’re nice. But Sab knows that side, I’ve shown it to her because she the kind of person that deserves all the kindness in the world, and to the douchebag/s that inflicted pain on my girl. Wait till I get back, I’m gonna shove your faces into your anus. 

MAMANG MOTOR.

The next day, I went to school and it was the first time and hopefully the last time that anything has ever happened to my vehicle. I was signaling left to get into the campus, a 16-wheeler truck stopped and let me through (What a nice Filipino truck driver that was.) And just like every other fucking street in the Philippines, it was infested with motorcycles. You know how everything is legal in the Philippines? Motorcycles roll on the gutter to the right of your vehicle. Which, to tell you frankly, is such a hazard to society.  So anyway, there was a motorcycle to the right of the truck, with the size of that truck, Mamang Motor obviously didn’t see me. I made the left, was about to get into the ramp when Mamang Motor crashes into my right bumper corner. I was still PALO, went down the car and screamed at him like there was no tomorrow, shouting such profanities that my mother would not be pleased. I only stopped because he started crying.

Kawawa naman.

At that time, I haven’t been driving with a license because it got lost and I didn’t wanna tell my parents how I lost it because didn't know how I lost it either. I dunno which school official that was but he stepped in and said the process that we have to call the Barangay Tanod guys and make this incident official. Puta. I had to pull Mr. School Official to the side to tell him that I didn't have a license and that we can just let it go. I made the guy cry anyway, so my amats went all out on him, include all the emotions I was feeling due to the previous night. He served his purpose. Sorry Mamang Motor. Sorry bro.

I was being extremely Bipolar that time so I left school and hung out at a classmate’s condo, shooting up every anti-depressant there was. HAHAHA. At one point, became a cat. Snapped out. Went to Benilde, I think? To get Celine. Ended up in Cable Car, trying to eat Adobo Rice. And I think I ended the night at the Stoner Waiting Shed at my village.

That day was so labo.

ENTER THE VOID.

This was the first time I met Denice.

There was chemistry class, lots of bombs, free wine and cheese from that newly opened wine place. I REMEMBER THAT CHEESE SO WELL. IT WAS REALLY GOOD CHEESE. LIKE REALLY FUCKING GOOD CHEESE. There was a game of charades, and I wasn't even watching Enter The Void. Since we already watched it prior to this night, and we just sort of wanted to see the reactions of other people.

Moving on, I remember that Celine left early, Dani went somewhere else and designated her sister (Denice) to me. PALONG-PALO. A tweet was sent to me saying “I love you?” and the next thing I know Denice was gone without a trace with… (I’m not saying who but if you see this and you remember… Sup, boy?).

And you know what boy? I have to thank you. Because Denice is one of my closest friends now. But you’re still a douchebag. Peace.

After that, I ended up smoking hash with some hiphop guys (WHY THE FUCK?) at the tables outside of the bar, I kept smoking up but I wasn't getting high! And when the waiters were telling us that they were closing down, one of the guys asked me “Do you wanna do Shabu?” Tanginang yan. So everytime I see him on the YouTube videos, I refer to him as “Shabu guy” Dunno his name. I didn't do it by the way. I went home… alone. Forever alone. : (

But the story doesn't end there, see next blog post.

BEGINNING.

Like the many circumstances in my world, I underwent Psycho Week a few years back and as that cartoon says, deleted everything (As far as remembering passwords are concerned). A small part of me regrets that act because just like every painting I've done and burned in the past, they are memories, encapsulated in one form or another. Photographs are the most concrete form of memory in my book, since it captures moments in stills. I lack the appreciation for memories at times. Sometimes, I just want to forget, and to forget I did.

Now that I am far away from home and making new memories, I feel that these new memories will overlap the old ones and over time, just completely be done with remembering the past. I’m done with erasing the life that was. Maybe this is part of the Quarter Life Crisis, or maybe I’m just pretty baked for the most part of the 24 hours in a day and have nothing better to do with my life but trip out on every single thing that I can trip out on.

Which brings us to this. It’s an ongoing project that started out as a way to make Throwback Thursdays hashtags on Instagram for I lack the proof of such instances in my life to publicly display on social media. So I brought back the Jobellina Toons. To people that have known me through the years, you’re probably quite familiar with these cartoons (It’s the product of a lot of weed and a project that I had to do for General Psychology back in college, which I did the day before the deadline. Can you make a guess on who got an A?). They’re made in Microsoft Powerpoint, anyone can do it. All you need is a lot of imagination to figure out the potential of an Auto Shape. The idea for a Throwback cartoon kept evolving and evolving until I've settled on just putting up a blog so I won’t have to do it on a weekly basis.

The plan is, to ask people for memories of me and them, turn that into a cartoon and in the process of doing so, jog up my memory. Or use up my own memories and refresh another person’s memory.

Or can we just put it this way? But I’m gonna be a Harry Potter geek here for a moment:

This is my personal Pensieve.